just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
