He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
