so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
