we're blogging at a bar
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
