yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
