Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
