Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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