I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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