why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
