Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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