I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
