do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
