I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
