forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
