i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
