The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
