So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
