Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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