I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
