guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
