Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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