Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
