I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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