I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just pee around me
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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