all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
