where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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