the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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