I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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