he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
