either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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