if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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