Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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