well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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