I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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