porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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