DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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