Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
as a side note pls kill me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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