in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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