i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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