i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
