I could have mohawked her pubes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
