Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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