This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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