why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize