I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
