I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
