my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
