One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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