OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
