the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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