But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
