So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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