Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
