I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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