Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
