i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
