He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
