We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize