do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
