Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
