I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
