Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
