If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
