idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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