You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
