R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
